Mary Talks Money Episodes
Women Money Myths
We often don't tell our friends about our money concerns, but having one conversation about money will reveal there are money myths many of us share.
Kaytlynn Gorson is about to graduate college. She hasn't begun her career yet.
"I don't have a retirement fund set up yet. I have savings account and a checking account. It is overwhelming. You think about where you want to be. A year from now, you have to think about where you want to be in 10 years from now," said Kaytlynn.
While she worries about these things, Kaytlynn is afraid the stuff she needs to learn will be too difficult.
"As a communications major personal finance, the numbers would scare me, the math," said Kaytlynn.
Olivia Mellan is one of the few psychologists who specialize in dealing with money issues. Her books and research are internationally respected. She says Kaytlynn harbors some of the money myths that women need to debunk -- so they can take charge of their money.
Myth: Money is too complicated for me to understand.
Truth: You need 3rd grade math and sometimes a calculator to do everything you need to with money.
Olivia says try learning something new about money every week. You can read a book or just pick up the newspaper. Women investment clubs are a great option, too.
"I am not a stock market girl-- it is too scary. I don't want to make the money and then put it into fate's hands. You work too hard to take those risks," said Kaytlynn.
Myth: Taking risks with money means I will lose everything.
Truth: It's really important to take moderate intelligent risks with your money. That's the only way to make it grow.
Myth: Men are better at managing money.
Truth: Everyone can manage their finances. And women should be prepared if something happens and they have to take over the financial responsibilities. Shonna Jones-Jacobs says she is relieved she didn't believe the old thinking about men managing money.
"I'm divorced, about six years. But because I had parents who always told me to make sure you always have things in line, the divorce wasn't as impactful. Why? Because I did have a savings on the side. I did have an idea of what I would do if something is to happen," said Shonna.
Olivia confesses that she wasn't as prepared as Shonna. "I was raised by a feminist mother and a feminist father who told me that I can do whatever I want, but even though I got a 800 on my college in math and got a scholarship to Holy Oak, they told me out loud, you will not be good at this money stuff, if you're lucky you will marry a wealthy man who will take care of it for you. And I totally believed that. I am still climbing out of a hole," said Olivia.
One of the more interesting myths about money actually affects women, like Donna Andrews. She is very confident with her money skills. Her father made sure of that.
"My father owned a restaurant business and owned several restaurants and as a young girl he made me work in the front and in the back and as I got a little older he would make me sit in the office with him. And I think he just wanted me to see all aspects of the business not just servicing people and helping in the kitchen, but he wanted me to understand everything -- he wanted me to handle money, to be comfortable with money, and understanding his ledgers -- not that he asked me to do them, but understand and to feel comfortable with those things and I am," said Donna.
Donna says her Dad's obsession with work taught her more than business skills.
"My father worked a lot, he wasn't home a lot because he took care of the family and I missed that. I missed having my dad at home, I missed having family and so I just -- all the men around my father were very, very good businessmen -- made a lot of money but they had the same stories -- you know women had the same sad story at home and I thought I don't want that," said Donna.
Myth: Financial success comes at expense of the family.
Truth: You can find a balance between financial success and family.
Donna's old beliefs prevented her from growing her burgeoning photography business.
"I allowed myself to stay disorganized on the business end of it because I didn't want to acknowledge that I was being 'the business owner.' I had 4 kids, I was home-schooling and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose that family unit and I just didn't know how to balance the two together. I feared that I would just have to be more like my dad and not be at home and just have tunnel vision and I thought how do you do that when you are a mom?" said Donna.
While it has taken time, Donna now sees that being more devoted to running her business can work with motherhood. She created a home office that proudly features the same desk her dad used.
"I didn't realize it until then until I built that actual office. I just stayed scattered and that was OK because it made me feel like I was still being a mom and it's been a growing up," said Donna.
Want to read more from expert Olivia Mellan? Olivia has written a number of finance books -- including "Money Shy to Money Sure: A Woman's Road Map to Financial Well-being."
